ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
A good night out now means home by ten.
Nobody had to come and get you. Nobody offered.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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