ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your call is important to us.
Not important enough to answer, but important.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Hard work pays off eventually. It's paying off right now. Your boss just bought…
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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