ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You "love deeply".
Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do his writers.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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