ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You got the ick because they ran for a bus.
You've been single three years and you run for nothing. Including opportunities.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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