ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The customer is always right.
The customer is also on hold, forever, which is exactly how the company likes it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- You're not a CEO. You're one person with a logo, a free email account…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- Disrupt the industry. The industry will disrupt you back, then buy your logo for…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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