ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You swore you'd never sound like your parents.
You just said "because I said so" in your dad's exact voice. He lives in you now.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
- Step outside your comfort zone. It's raining out there, everything costs more, and nobody…
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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