ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
TUESDAY, 28 JUNE 2016
Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something.
You do that at work for free.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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