ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life.
Someone will close them after the funeral. Unread.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- Monday has its own support group. The group is everyone. The meetings are also…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year. Nobody noticed…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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