ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone.
Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do Not Answer".
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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