ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
WEDNESDAY, 16 NOVEMBER 2016
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Start the week strong. Or at 9:14, camera off, pretending your face is a…
- Underconsumption core is a beautiful aesthetic. It's what the last week of the month…
- The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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