ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The customer is always right.
The customer is also on hold, forever, which is exactly how the company likes it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
- The hardest part of working out is getting started. You've made sure it stays…
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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