ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You bought the yoga mat.
The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible, more mindful and better liked.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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