ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Consistency is key.
You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only consistent thing about you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- No pain, no gain. You chose neither. Your heart has noted it in your…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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