ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You wanted a mini-me.
You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost to you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- It's not a career ladder. It's a hamster wheel. The hamster has a LinkedIn…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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