ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You typed "speak to an agent" nine times.
The bot sent you a help article about speaking to agents. The agents were let go in March.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- Your therapist said set boundaries. You set one. Then texted them at 2 a.m.…
- You bought 41 games in the Steam sale. You will play two. The other…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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