ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see my screen?"
You can. You always will.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- No pain, no gain. You chose neither. Your heart has noted it in your…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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