ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 18 APRIL 2020
Parenting is ten percent love
and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is. Then they leave and take both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year. Nobody noticed…
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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