ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You received 40 fundraising texts today.
Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year. Nobody noticed…
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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