ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- Your fitness journey started on the second of January. It ended on the fourth.…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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