ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year.
Nobody noticed you were gone.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
- A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway. Written down…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- You are a valued member of the team. So was the last person in…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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