ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands.
It will be the most productive minute of the quarter.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years. He has, however, given…
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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