ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Clear-coding means stating your intentions up front.
Hers was "I have a hard stop at 8:15". Yours was hoping she'd forget. She set an alarm.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- Every great company started in a garage. Yours will end there too. The car's…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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