ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life.
Someone will close them after the funeral. Unread.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You took it…
- Love is patient. Your partner is not, and has started a note on their…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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