ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams
than you've had about anything since 2011.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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