ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your 5am routine went viral.
You did it once, filmed it, and have slept until 11 every day since. The algorithm doesn't know. Your landlord does.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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