ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your friends' group chat went quiet. It didn't. They made a new one. Same…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- Every great company started in a garage. Yours will end there too. The car's…
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
- Monday has its own support group. The group is everyone. The meetings are also…
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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