ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You don't have a type.
You have a pattern. Your friends have a group chat about it. You're not in it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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