ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your alarm didn't wake you.
The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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