ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You bought the yoga mat.
The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible, more mindful and better liked.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
- You said "it's giving" about your own life. It's giving overdraft. It's giving rent…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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