ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years.
You're the phase they'll describe to a therapist.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Make your money work for you. Yours quit in 2019. It works for your…
- Your startup is a chatbot that tells customers they're right. Investors loved it. The…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- Monday is a core collaboration day. As, it turns out, is every day ending…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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