ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Kids grow up so fast.
Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and you age a decade.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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