ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime.
They said that last time. Your lifetime is very important.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- Parenthood is a long journey from "mama" to "can you send money" to them…
- You are exactly where you're meant to be. That should frighten you more than…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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