ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Sleep when the baby sleeps.
Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the mortgage.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- Strangers online have voted you "not wrong". The same strangers once voted to give…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- Be your own boss. Your new boss naps at 2pm, can't pay you, and…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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