ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see my screen?"
You can. You always will.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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