ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 8 APRIL 2023
A good night out now means home by ten.
Nobody had to come and get you. Nobody offered.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- Parenthood is a long journey from "mama" to "can you send money" to them…
- You are exactly where you're meant to be. That should frighten you more than…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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