ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English.
It will be only Monday every week for the rest of your working life.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- Parenthood is a long journey from "mama" to "can you send money" to them…
- You are exactly where you're meant to be. That should frighten you more than…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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