ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "chronically online".
Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have a loading icon.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- Passive income takes a surprising amount of active effort. Mostly explaining it at parties…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- Love is patient. Your partner is not, and has started a note on their…
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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