ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“I'm here for the right reasons.”
The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a fake tan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've got a side hustle, a passion project and a podcast. Combined monthly income:…
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- Strangers online have voted you "not wrong". The same strangers once voted to give…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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