ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Consistency is key.
You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only consistent thing about you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Running clears your head. Mostly of the idea that you're a runner.
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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