ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark.
There wasn't. She knew in four minutes. You paid for both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- Hard work pays off eventually. It's paying off right now. Your boss just bought…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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