ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Nobody notices when you do your job well.
Everyone notices when you leave at 5:01. Your retirement will get a shorter email.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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