ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You have an eleven-step skincare routine.
Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is doing its best. It isn't a miracle worker.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- The council listened to your feedback. Then it did the thing anyway, but with…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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