ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You say you're "an old soul".
You're 21. The only old thing about you is your phone's battery health.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- Nobody notices when you do your job well. Everyone notices when you leave at…
- You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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