ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "in your villain era".
You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times. Villains have done less damage at a christening.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Tomorrow is a fresh start. Your problems have the new address. They've already moved…
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- You put "entrepreneur" in your bio. You've sold one pair of trainers on Vinted…
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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