ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're ageing like a fine wine.
Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark, away from people.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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