ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle.
The kettle will outlast the excitement. Possibly you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- The hardest part of working out is getting started. You've made sure it stays…
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- There's no I in team. There are two in "invoice still unpaid". And one…
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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