ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're ageing like a fine wine.
Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark, away from people.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- Parenthood is a long journey from "mama" to "can you send money" to them…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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