ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The battle pass costs £9.99 a season.
Your childhood cost nothing and had better rewards.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- AI agrees with you more than any human ever has. That's not wisdom. That's…
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- The hardest part of working out is getting started. You've made sure it stays…
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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