ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Parenthood is a long journey
from "mama" to "can you send money" to them choosing your care home.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- AI agrees with you more than any human ever has. That's not wisdom. That's…
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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