ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Remember when you stayed up late on purpose?
Now you're up at 3am because your knee filed a complaint.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- Start the week strong. Or at 9:14, camera off, pretending your face is a…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- Tomorrow is a fresh start. Your problems have the new address. They've already moved…
- A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway. Written down…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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